Shanghai Update September 2014

A word of warning:  There are a lot of complaints in this post, everyone.  If you need a pick-me-up today, I suggest reading something else!

 

The bank

Never walk into Bank of China without your smart phone.  This past Monday, a MoneyGram that routinely takes 45 minutes took 90.  Without my smart phone to keep me entertained with Sudoku and Kindle, that bank might’ve learned a few words in English they weren’t expecting.

 

I got my number (2009) at 10:41 am and settled in for the wait.  Usually it took about 15 minutes or so before my number was called, but today the two windows where I normally went to send money home were closed.  That was my first clue.

 

 

I sat.  I read a while.  I stretched.  I got up and paced.  I’d picked up a cold bottle of Itoen oolong tea to refresh me after the 30 minute walk to the bank.  I sipped it.  I sat back down.  I read some more.  I went to the bathroom, praying I wouldn’t miss my number.  I played a few games of Sudoku on my phone.  I stretched some more.  I read some more.

 

My number was called at 12:10.  The nice-looking young gentleman behind the window was wearing a tag that said:  TRAINEE.  I sighed. 

 

He consulted the manual.  He got other employees to look at the manual with him (one woman frowned with widened eyes, looking more confused than the trainee himself).  I could see half the staff behind the window milling about doing important tasks such as checking their WeChat messages.  We were also interrupted four times by various Chinese customers impatiently waiting in line behind me.

 

The poor trainee took forever to finish my transaction.  Part of the issue was the fact that I’d written “Spokane” (upper and lower case) not: “SPOKANE” in block letters.  I suppose if he’d written traditional characters rather than simplified I would’ve been just as stumped.  He checked the spelling with me three times.  At least he was thorough and diligent. 

 

The finality of those red seals being pounded into my paperwork (all three sheets of it) at one-o-clock was a relief.

 

Surfin’

At work, Wikipedia and Hotmail are the only things working besides the EF homepage.  Bing search doesn’t work, and some of you may know that Google and China are still feuding, meaning Google is unavailable 99% of the time.  My Skype call home from my apartment got cut off, and my internet has been down at home for the last two days.

 

Ditto

The copier at work has been serviced once a week since I returned from the States a month ago.  Its favorite time to break down is Friday evening and Saturday morning—and of course, those are our busiest times.  There is one copier/printer for the entire center, meaning all 13 teachers and all 20 or so staff (sales and secretaries) use the same machine for everything.

 

The “repairman” from Toshiba spends as much time checking his phone and sighing as he does actually working on the damn thing.  Our center director refuses to budge on buying a second machine, or a new one at the very least.

 

I complained to my immediate supervisor today.  It’s really embarrassing to tell students no handouts or materials are available for the lesson they spend thousands of RMB on.  It’s bad business.  And since this IS a business, not a school, you’d think they’d do something about it. 

 

Yesterday was the annual summer party, and the company must have spent millions of RMB on food, alcohol, transportation, and venue rental—thousands of teachers and staff attended.  Clearly, the money is available.  The company is just too damn cheap to spend it on things they actually need.

 

Yeah, right

If I hear one more person telling me Shanghai is “a modern city” I’m going to scream.  At least I have air conditioning at home and at work, so it’s definitely ahead above the Peace Corps, at least.

 

If I hear one more person claiming Shanghai is “a cosmopolitan city” I’m going to scream.  Last week I went with two of my coworkers to a Mexican restaurant on Daxue Lu (modeled after University Avenue in Palo Alto, California).  On our way back, this woman (about 40 or 50 years old) stared at us for a good three minutes as we waited for the light to change so we could cross the street.  One of my coworkers is black.  Even when I smiled (sarcastically, I’ll confess) and waved and said “Ni hao!”, her expression never changed, and her eyes only flicked to me for a second.  The only thing missing was her mouth hanging open. 

 

I still get stared at regularly, even though white people are more common in Shanghai than black people.  I’ll admit that thousands of Shanghainese walk (or push) past me without a second glance, but at least every other day someone will do a double take or actually turn around on their bike, on their feet, or in their car to stare.  Some smile.  Most don’t. 

 

Shanghai is the biggest city in the world, but it most certainly is not cosmopolitan.

 

And if I see one more foreign guy who’s gay or with a Chinese girl, I’m going to scream about that, too.  I did have a small hope that I might find a guy here, which is ridiculous considering the fact that a good 50% of the local men come up to my shoulder, have long, dirty fingernails and have bad breath as well (garlic, cigs, and not brushing--ew!).  There are some good-looking Chinese men, here, though--tall and young (too young for me, usually, or with a girlfriend) and clean cut.  The foreign guys are either in long-term relationships or are a bit on the scuzzy side (they like massage parlors if you know what I mean).

 

Well, now that I’ve got all that off my chest…