Colombia!

Colombia!

Tuesday, August 27, 2013

Mr. Perfect 23 August 2013


The irony of my (lack of) love life was almost laughable as I looked at the title of the week's activity:  "Romantics:  Creating your Mr./Mrs. Perfect".  Oh, if only it were as easy as "creating" him!  Abracadabra!  Ha, ha.  It was even more hysterical that a good third of the students in the class were married or dating--and that the teacher teaching it (me) was single.

Since arriving in Shanghai, I've met four gay men.  They have all been wonderful people; however, at times meeting men like this was only a reminder of how few available men remain for someone my age. 

As a Peace Corps Volunteer at 25, I remember the villagers on Pohnpei being shocked that I was still single; they didn't believe that I didn't at least have an illegitimate child in the States.  "Twenty-five!"  they'd say, eyes wide, sometimes shaking their heads at each other--as if I wasn't there.

Well, kids, now I'm 36, and the situation hasn't changed.  What do you think about that?

Reluctant to trash my career over an office romance, I still have yet to meet many men outside of work.  The good thing is that, compared to Spokane, there are plenty of attractive men my age in Shanghai that I've seen.

After three cycles of the Chinese zodiac, I'll admit it'd be difficult to change my ways.  I've had about seven or eight years (off and on) of living without roommates, but that doesn't mean it would be impossible for me to learn new behaviors--to marry and live with someone.  That being said, after a year of eHarmony, six months on Plenty of Fish, and trying OKCupid and Match.com a few months each, the fact is that I've had exactly one boyfriend within the last eight years and perhaps four or five dinner dates. 

While I'm admitting things, I'll also admit that being able to up and leave the States for a year in Shanghai is something most of my married friends would be unable to do.  I'll admit that making my way through millions of people every day turns me off the "be fruitful and multiply" idea.  There are people all around me, and yet loneliness is cast like a veil over everything.  I can speak to almost no one, so I may as well be alone.  I struggle sometimes with why I came here.  Wasn't part of the point to find some friends, and to find The One?  ARGH. 

One of my good friends once shared a quote that went something like, "Each of us, no matter what we say, is exactly where we want to be."  If I am exactly where I want to be, why do I think about men and marriage so much, and why can't I let go of my loneliness?  Why can't I just accept that this is my life--single and adventurous?  Why do I keep longing for someone to share those adventures with me?

Only three of 20 students in the afore-mentioned "Romantics" class believed there was such a thing as the perfect relationship.  Is the fact that I keep hoping for one the reason why I'm still single?

Tuesday, August 20, 2013

Temples


One of the difficult things about my work schedule is the absence of "normal" weekends, and therefore the absence of a regular church time.

 In 1988 in Ge'ermu, religion was something eyed with suspicion or ridicule--at least that's what it felt like.  There were no signs of Christianity out there; there were a sprinkling of Buddhists and a few Muslims.  That was it.

I was hopeful about the idea of Catholic churches being in Shanghai.  However, my schedule in Shanghai is such that I work Saturday evenings and Sunday mornings--there are no English masses at other times that I can find, and I'm not even sure there is mass in Chinese any other day of the week.  My days off have changed three times in about six weeks, so mostly I'm just trying to get used to that!

I have had time to visit some of the local Buddhist temples, though.  Because they are tourist attractions, they're open all the time.  I'd like to share a little of that with you.

I thought Jing'an Temple (across from the park I mentioned in an earlier post) would be a total tourist trap.  The temple was almost smack on top of the line 2 and line 7 metro hub, and located near my employer's main offices.  The area was chock full of large modern buildings hosting Burberry, Michael Kors, Hugo Boss, and other luxury brands.  There were American restaurants, French patisseries, and a general sense of wealth and fashion. 

It was a surprise when I paid the entrance fee and stepped into the main square.  I was the only white person, and although everyone was dressed in modern clothes--shorts, sneakers, etc.--the main thing I noticed was the seriousness with which people were praying. 

To do this, a person made a donation to obtain sticks of incense, and lit them at a sort of oil barrel sink.  It was like a grease fire, with hot orange flames licking the breeze and trying to chase our hands away.  Once lit, people held the incense in their hands, palm to palm in front of their chest, bowing, chanting, eyes closed.  I prayed too, thinking about my grandparents and wondering what others prayed for.  In the center of this main square was a huge black tower.  Bells banged about in the breeze and people tried to toss jiao coins into the tower's cutout holes for luck.   

After prayer, I strolled around.  There was a peaceful courtyard with two trees and a couple of guys eating bowl Ramen and drinking green tea out of plastic Tupperware containers.

The main attraction at Jing'an Temple, of course, was the huge silver buddha statue.  He was a bit tarnished in this climate, as you might expect, but was simple and peaceful, as you'd expect a buddha to be.  There was a 50-gallon bowl in the same room.  People approached this bowl with reverence, touching their palms and the backs of their hands to it, then touching their faces.  Their touch was firm, as if the bowl belonged to them.  I learned later that this bowl was possibly the copper Hongwu Bell from the Ming Dynasty, weighing 3.5 tons.  I am still unsure why the bell is treated with such respect.

One of my favorite parts, though, was the Guanyin Bodhisattva.  Do you know the difference between a buddha and a bodhisattva?  My basic understanding is that a buddha achieves enlightenment and melts into Nirvana, while a bodhisattva achieves enlightenment but chooses to remain on Earth, helping others to do the same.  The closest thing we have in Christianity are guardian angels, perhaps.

I have a special feeling for the compassionate goddess--I sometimes wear a jade carving of her around my neck (a gift from my parents, the jade coming from Qinghai where we lived), and when I worked at the Metropolitan Museum of Art in New York City, I always enjoyed working in the Asia exhibit, where I could feast my eyes on Buddhist sculptures and architecture.

The Guanyin Bodhisattva at Jing'an Temple is carved of light-colored camphor wood from Myanmar (a.k.a. Burma), shined to glowing.  Her expression was one of bliss and compassion.  A slightly mentholated tinge to the air seemed to purify my lungs as I took a few deep breaths.  There were plenty of red pillows to kowtow at; however, since I am not Buddhist, I refrained.

Temple architecture and traditional Chinese housing are almost the complete opposite of American suburban living--our lawns and yards surround our houses, while traditionally, the courtyards of Chinese structures are inside.  There is a serenity that comes from this type of design; noise reduction plays a part, as does security--a mother telling her children to play outside knows the walls of the house keep them safe.  The interior is enriched and beautified, not the outside. 

Even with the absence of Catholic mass in my regular schedule, I know that my interior spiritual life is something that can continue to grow and develop.

 

Tuesday, August 13, 2013

The Daily Show


No, not the show with Jon Stewart (although it's awesome!)--and please don't sue me for using the catchy name as a title for this blog post.

I'm going to talk a little about my daily life here in Shanghai so far.

My favorite thing to do is pull back the drapes over my west-facing window in my studio.  There is black-out plastic velcroed to the other side.  Sometimes I like to say (like Robin Williams), "Good morning, Shanghai!"  I'm trying my best to drop the "shang" with a western twang in my pronunciation.  It's pronounced "Shong-hai" by the locals.

I look 20 floors down to Haining Lu (lu means road) at the traffic going east and west.  Even at this height, with concrete walls, I can hear the horns, the street sweeper, the slightly mournful "duh-duh-duh-DUH!" music of the water truck spraying the shrubs and trees along the street.

There is a construction site to the west that my window faces, and I hope they don't build some high-rise that blocks my view entirely, but I'm sure that's the plan.  Right now it's fun to watch some guy hose down the concrete foundation as it cures, or to see people welding without much protective gear, or to see the workers' children playing basketball with a makeshift hoop--it's not like American suburbia, where every kid has a basketball hoop in the driveway.  They look like little ants from 20 floors up, industrious and inspiring.

There is what seems to be a bus depot to the west of my subway exit--lots of those around this area, so close to the Bund, a major tourist attraction and about 25 minutes from my apartment.  The Bund will usually be very breezy, the major attraction for me on my morning walks, and swarming with tourists (mostly Chinese).  Aside from the breeze, my favorite part of walking to the Bund is the little wooden path along the Wusong River and seeing all the blessed dragonflies--angels in my eyes, busily eating mosquitoes. 

Like many of the worksites here, mine is located in a mall.  There is a Walmart across the street.

The Walmart in China is three floors of dollar store-type merchandise.  The food area is much more expansive and includes a deli about twice the size of a Walmart Superstore at home.  Every grocery store has a weigh station for produce--someone weighs your stuff and puts a price sticker on it, as there are no scales at checkout.  There is no pharmacy in Walmart here--those are separate.  There is no electronics department, either.  It is basically Walmart in name only--it doesn't even look like Walmart when you go inside.  I've only been there once.  I'm not really a big Walmart supporter, anyway.

The school where I work is on the ninth floor.  The ninth floor bathroom is shared by my worksite and every other business on the ninth floor--needless to say, it can get a little gross.  There is at least soap (not that everyone uses it, not even the local chefs or wait staff that also use the facility).  There are ashtrays in the stalls which are used occasionally, but there is no toilet paper and there are no paper towels.  Ah, well.  Soap is good, and in my opinion, the most important part.

On my way back to my worksite I'm overwhelmed with the mall's soundtrack--three or four songs on repeat over the loudspeaker.  Yep, the same songs all the time.  One of the teachers has been here for six months and says they never change the music.  Sometimes we can even here it in the teacher's office, at least 50 feet from the entrance, blaring in the hallway.  It plays in the bathroom, and on every floor.  There is no escape from the music.

To the left is Haoledi ("howl-e-day", I want to say, but it's actually the pinyin spelling of "Holiday", at KTV or karaoke place).  The staff is fully suited up; young men with vests, the whole bit, wait for customers and pick their noses with long fingernails.  A mirror ball sprinkles colored light on the right of the entrance.  Haoledi is pretty popular, with everyone from families to slightly intoxicated Asian businessmen.

On B1 is a great little grocery store and a sort of food court.  Going to Pizza Hut here means a sit-down restaurant with hostesses and wait staff.  There is nice decor and mambo music playing in the background.  I had a pizza there once, and grabbed an Elle magazine (all in Mandarin, of course), featuring full color, glossy card stock ads for beauty products--five pages each.  There was also a pull-out catalog of Cartier diamond engagement rings.  I found it hard to believe that America, a capitalist nation, did not have the same things in its version of Elle, while a so-called Communist country did.  Interesting.  The malls, the huge magazine ads--Mao must be rolling over in his grave.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Tiantong Road (Line 10) is the closest metro stop to my apartment.  It's very Chinese.  The exit spits you out with sudden force into an older, run-down shopping mall.  The shops are small, squeezed together, with names in Chinese and/or English.  It's not like a mall at home--pretty much all they sell here is clothing and shoes.

When you get to street level there are two KFCs (but be prepared for no biscuits and tons of mayo on everything).  There's also a Fresh Lemon (possibly a Happy Lemon off-shoot)--they make mango smoothies to die for (only 10 yuan, or about $1.70), iced tea, and all sorts of refreshing hot weather drinks.  There are lots of little noodle stands with your choice of chopped onions, cabbage, whatever.  There are stands selling mini-dumplings in small round bamboo steamers and Japanese fried balls with chopped octopus tentacles inside.  The food looks pretty good--I was told to keep an eye on who stays in the same spot for more than two weeks--it usually means their food is pretty tasty and won't make you sick.  Granite tables in some areas indicate longevity to me.

People shove here.  You've got to be moved, or move out of the way.  Thank God for my time in New York for preparing me for this; however, New Yorkers would be very offended, because in NYC the shoving is at least accompanied by "Sorry" or "Excuse me".  Not in China.  If I shove, too, no one really minds--being one in a billion is something they all understand.  People do not step aside to let you onto the train or off of the train--it's pandemonium.  You have to push if you want off or on, period.  It's every man, woman, or child for him-/her-/itself, but there's no malice in the pushing, I feel.  I feel thankful that my schedule helps me to avoid the worst of the commuter traffic.

In spite of this densely populated place, the high rises going on past either horizon and the random strangers I rub thighs or arms with on the metro and never see again--it's like being in the desert.  There is quiet never, but it's easy to tune out, because I understand less than 1% of what's being said.

 Every day on the way to the metro to go to work, I see people pushing their meat skewers, their handbags ("Lady, you want bag?"), their household cleaning products, their sea monkeys, their wind-up plastic soldiers slithering on the ground, rifles in hand.  There is an old man who lies on his stomach with his head covered, begging.  There is an old woman with swollen ankles, stringy gray hair, and a beaming smile, begging.  There is a woman with short hair, maybe my age, missing an arm, begging.  Like everyone here, they are pushing to be recognized. 

For too long, China's been off the world grid.  They've existed, but America's been too focused on Afghanistan or North Korea to pay attention.  The oldest manhole cover I've seen in Shanghai is from 2005.  That means most of their development--new metro lines, skyscrapers, a lot of the fancy buildings in Pudong across the Huangpu River--has shot up within the last decade.  We owe China over a trillion dollars (http://finance.townhall.com/columnists/politicalcalculations/2012/09/18/summer_2012 _to_whom_does_the_us_government_owe_money).  In my opinion, it would behoove America to learn a bit more about this country.  Just sayin'.

Sunday, August 4, 2013

Legalities 5 August 2013


Good and evil.  Yin and yang.  Night and day.  East and West.  Yes, China and the U.S. are very, very different from one another.  For example, in the U.S., people stop at a red light.  In Shanghai, the traffic lights are more like guidelines--pedestrians must cross the street at their own risk, no matter what the traffic light says.

A lesson about work accidents and compensation really opened my eyes to another, and in my mind, more important, difference.

One of the work accidents my students were to assess was about a man named "James".  James had worked a long, hard day and was tired.  The floor had been cleaned recently, and the company had taken the proper safety precautions by putting up one of those big yellow "WET FLOOR" signs.  However, James had taken out his contact lenses because his eyes were sore.  He missed the sign, slipped, fell, and hurt his ankle.

"Who's to blame?" was the question asked in the lesson.

"Well-l," most of my students said.  "It's James' fault, really.  If he'd left his contacts in, he would've seen the sign and been more careful."

American corporations and insurance companies:  *Applause and cheering.*

"But," my students continued, "it's the law:  the company should pay."

American corporations and insurance companies:  "Huh?!"

"Is that really the law in China?"  I asked.

They all nodded--four different classes, about a dozen different students.  In their eyes, James may have been careless, and the students even said he was to blame--but he was still at work.  The law in China says this:  Chapter III, Article 44:  "No production or business units may, in any form, conclude agreements with their employees in an attempt to relieve themselves of, or lighten, the responsibilities they should bear in accordance with law for the employees who are injured or killed in accidents which occur due to lack of work safety." (Look for yourself at : http://english.gov.cn/laws/2005-10/08/content_75054.htm)  In this case, the company had put up a sign, but James was still hurt at workJames probably wouldn't make the same mistake twice, but while he recovered, his company would take care of him.

When I told my students that the situation in America would be quite different--that there was no similar law, and that corporations and insurance companies would do just about anything these days to avoid any kind of payout--my students either shook their heads or gave me blank looks.  To them, a company not taking care of its workers--regardless of cost--was unthinkable.

For a country that constantly gets blasted in our media for human rights abuses, I find this fascinating.

After all my travels in this world, I've come to value American freedom and independence with a fierceness that most homebodies will never feel.  At the same time, there's also the sense in America that the word "independent" is synonymous with "alone", as in "You're on your own."  "Pull yourself up by your bootstraps!  If you can't, you deserve to die."

It seems to me that China is more of a "We're in this together," society.  Yes, I've only been in Shanghai for one month, but I did live in China before.  I remember what a big deal it was for my family to live in Qinghai--how hard the Chinese tried, with what little resources they had, to look out for us.  Everything from fancy banquets to accompanying us out of the country in May 1989--right before the protests at Tiananmen Square.

Am I romanticizing China by saying they're a cooperative society (at least more than America is)?  Perhaps.  There is a value in accomplishing something on your own:  it boosts your confidence when you know you can take care of yourself.  But sometimes I wonder:  Would it be that bad if Americans looked after each other a little more?  How much would it really affect companies like Nike and Walmart if they took better care of their workers?  Is it that bad to get help sometimes?

This is so cheesy, but I have to ask--I really want you to think about this--If Jesus were in charge of Walmart, what do you think he would do?

Shanghai Street Fighter 12 July 2013


It's the kind of heat that feels like it's against you, out to get you, and you struggle against it--to move, to function, to sweat--even to breathe.  The pollution, the horns, the metallic banging of construction, the bicycle bells, the soggy, oven-like air seeping into the pores on your face, your hands, your scalp.  Your pants stick to your legs, and the fabric feels clumsy as you walk.  The air forces its way into your mouth, up your nostrils--the ammonia-like stench of public toilets, the mouth-watering aroma of peaches, the musty, poopy smell of sewer, the sizzling burn of Shanghai fried noodles cooking up on a street cart, the unfamiliar tang of hard boiled eggs simmering in soy sauce--you don't know whether to hold your breath or to suck it all in. 

You can't fight this. 

In other places this hot, people walk slowly.  They refuse to go out from about 10 am until about 6 or 7 p.m. 

In Shanghai, people still hurry.  Hardly anyone wears flip flops.  Ladies wear high heels and risk turning an ankle--all in the name of fashion.  They carry umbrellas when it's not raining, and the women on scooters wear long sleeves and gloves, and even sometimes a visor that looks like the kind of mask welders wear--all in the name of white skin.  Traffic cops swelter in full uniform--hat, gloves, the whole bit--sweating even under the huge intersection umbrellas on each corner.

People, mostly Chinese men, still smoke inside--elevators in hotels, convenience stores; there are cigarette brands with names like Double Happiness; there are still a few men with long nails (cab drivers showing off the fact that they don't have to do hard labor like farming); on the street in on the subway platform, men and women both still hawk and spit, although much less frequently than 25 years ago in Golmud--you hear it only 3 or 4 times a day now.

You can't fight this.

Fighting takes more energy, and that is energy you need to survive--to dodge the car that follows you up onto the curb--to avoid tripping over a cart or flipped brick--to keep moving without passing out--to eat enough without risking illness.

Before being a street fighter, you have to stop fighting the street.